Mindful Living

Newsletter November 2011 Kettle Moraine Counseling Clinic News : We are sad to announce that Bill Driscoll and Anne Warren are both leaving us, and we wish them the best of luck in the future! Tricia Schutz is doing a talk on children and trauma at the Family Center, website address http://www.wcfamilycenter.org/ for more information. Tammy Ricke and Lester Menke are both up and running and seeing adults and couples. Some of the clinics’ specialities include art therapy with children/adolescents/adults, attachment therapy, and couples work. We take most insurance including Medicaid and Badgercare, and offer flexible appointments. Referrals can come in by calling the clinic or by emailing, and we can check your insurance benefits before the appointment. Contact Dorothy for insurance information: 262.388.9425 or Dorothy@kettlemorainecounseling.com. Thank you for considering us and also recommending our services! Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays, and I enjoyed reading

I am at our cabin in the Northwoods where the primary heat source is a wood stove. Since I am here alone, it is my job to keep the fire going, which is usually my husbands job when he is here with me. The stove is small and doesn't hold large or long logs, which means we cannot go the whole night without getting up to add more wood. Due to frequent waking, it wasn't difficult for me last night to keep it going, but I am glad my husband will be here tonight to take over the fire keeping duties! What I like most about wood heat is that we are very conscious of what it takes to heat our cabin and it's our energy of cutting the wood, carrying it in, cleaning the stove, and keeping a watch that provides our heat. If we don't actively participate, there will not be any warmth! My fire tending, got me thinking about tending the fire in my relationships and also the fire of my creativity and the fire inside my body. In relationships, if we are not caring for our passion, the fi

I recommend the book Five Languages of Love to many of my clients, and for good reason- it helps us to understand ourselves and our partners "love" needs. Now some of the book is a little cheesy, but overall I think it's a wonderful tool for couples. The five love languages are: Gifts, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, and Words of Affirmation. You can buy the book or also take the test online if you do a google search. The most important thing for us to understand is that we give to our significant other what we want to receive, and that may or may not fill up their love bucket! For instance, I would often write my husband love notes and poems and give them to him, but it didn't really "fill him up". He on the other hand is always doing something for me (Acts of Service) and although I enjoy it, what my first love language is Words of Affirmation (which my husband has never been real good with!, as I haven't been with Acts of Service!). So

As many of you know I will be married for 20 years this December, and what a 20 year journey it has been! I often write about the way I was in the early years of our marriage, and this is another one of "those posts". Looking back I easily see the control issues I had during the first 5 years of marriage. Because I am an anxious person, my control issues were often about trying to control life in order to keep my anxiety down. Well, it didn't really work at keeping my anxiety down and my controlling behavior put rifts between me and my husband. Besides trying to keep my anxiety down my controlling ways also got triggered when I felt insecure (an example is a previous post about fighting with my husband over his spending time with his family). Thank goodness I married a patient man who was very intuitive about my inner world and worked hard to help me feel safe and secure- because it worked! I still have moments of insecurity and controlling ways, but they are brief, and I

Any of us that have been together in a relationship for more than a few years, knows that our "in love" feelings will wax and wane over time. Those intense feelings we had when we first met will usually not be sustained at that level, and if we expect that from our relationships, then we need to adjust our expectations. When we expect our relationship to always give us "butterflies" or feel intensely passionate, we WILL be disappointed. Can we have moments of that throughout our journey together? Absolutely! But it won't be a daily occurrence. The truth is that love changes over times. Often it gets deeper, more real, more accepting and less intense. In my own marriage I have become more secure, more accepting, more safe, but also more complacent. Being comfortable with each other is a good thing, but getting too comfortable can backfire and hasten boredom or dissatisfaction. When you find yourself getting bored or complacent, it's important to not get too &

October 2011 Newsletter Kettle Moraine Counseling From the director : We are happy to announce that Lester Menke MS TLPC is a new therapist at our clinic! He is seeing teens, adults and couples. Welcome Lester! Tammy Ricke is heading to the annual conference for Internal Family Systems, and Tricia Schutz did a presentation at the Family Center and children and trauma. I am noticing an increase in Seasonal Affective Disorder symptoms in some clients already- the days are getting shorter, but it is beautiful outside, so spending time outdoors will help with the season change. Enjoy the fall colors and be gentle with yourself! Devona Marshall SELF-CARE TECHNIQUES FOR STRESS MANAGEMENT by Anne Warren TAKE BREAKS Throughout the day, take "mini-breaks" to reduce stress and fatigue. Sit down and get comfortable. Slowly take in a deep breath; hold it; and then exhale very slowly. At the same time, let your shoulder muscles droop, smile, and say something pos