When loves goes stale..


Any of us that have been together in a relationship for more than a few years, knows that our "in love" feelings will wax and wane over time. Those intense feelings we had when we first met will usually not be sustained at that level, and if we expect that from our relationships, then we need to adjust our expectations. When we expect our relationship to always give us "butterflies" or feel intensely passionate, we WILL be disappointed. Can we have moments of that throughout our journey together? Absolutely! But it won't be a daily occurrence.

The truth is that love changes over times. Often it gets deeper, more real, more accepting and less intense. In my own marriage I have become more secure, more accepting, more safe, but also more complacent. Being comfortable with each other is a good thing, but getting too comfortable can backfire and hasten boredom or dissatisfaction.

When you find yourself getting bored or complacent, it's important to not get too 'settled in". Spice things up! Try new things and have an adventure together, practice a sport, compete with each other in a fun way, travel together, partake in each others' hobbies, dance in the living room, sing karaoke; share your feelings- its helps us to feel closer. Touch more- make an effort to connect physically. Laugh and make time to be together in new ways, and not in front of the television!

In December I will have been married for 20 years, and I truly do practice my own advise!

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