Mindful Living

I have been reading the book Hold Me Tight, and it's help change how I see behaviors in relationships. When we act "out" by withdrawing, yelling or demanding, it's often because we do not feel connected and we are "protesting" the distance; it's actually our way of trying to be closer! The way that I primarily protest distance in my marriage is by stonewalling (basically withdrawing either physically or emotionally). My husband usually persuades (or pursues) me to get closer again, and that usually works! In this past week though, I was able to notice myself withdrawing because I didn't feel connected (he's busy and distracted with work and I was feeling neglected). I started stonewalling, but then caught myself and moved closer to him (because that's what I really wanted!). Others protest the distance by complaining or nagging; we feel disconnected, and want to be closer so badly. We don't like feeling distant from our loved ones, and th...

Being vulnerable is a sign of strength, not weakness. It means that you feel secure enough in yourself to expose the painful areas. In therapy when a client starts to share their vulnerabilities, I know we are really getting somewhere! Because once they trust me enough, they will be able to transfer that outside of the therapy office. Look at being vulnerable as a strength that you have; it will deepen your relationships, your connections to others will grow, and loneliness will lessen. It took me a long time to share my "soft underbelly" with my husband, so I do know that what I am advising can be very difficult to do! But as I felt more emotionally safe, and I got stronger inside, I could share more and more. Today my connection with him is very strong and one of the biggest joys of my life. I know this journey can be difficult, but it is so worth it! When you are vulnerable, you are telling yourself that you accept yourself and all the different sides of you that you may b...