Mindful Living

It doesn't feel very good does it? Feeling insecure at times is a universal experience, and it is really good that you can acknowledge that insecure is what you are feeling! Because that's more than half the battle- recognizing your true feelings. So often we hide feeling insecure by being angry at our significant other by accusing them of things that may or not be accurate. It is usually much easier to acknowledge being angry than it is to admit (even just to ourselves) that what is before the anger is insecurity. Our anger masks our true feelings. Because when we say we feel insecure, that means we are vulnerable. We don't really feel too vulnerable when we are angry. Being vulnerable to another is difficult. And the benefits are amazing! I have seen people go from chronic insecurity in a relationship, to having those insecure feelings almost vanish overnight by recognizing and talking about them to their partner! Now that is some powerful medicine! Does it always work th...

I see many people who's insecurities are harming their relationships, and I have had my fair share of feeling insecure, so I know the visitor "insecurity" well. Insecurity is a visitor because for most people, we don't always feel insecure, but things trigger it, and then we tend to act out in some way, before we return to our baseline again. There tends to be two patterns of acting out our insecurities- anger or withdrawing. With anger I usually see a very strong rageful reaction that is out of proportion to the offense committed. It tends to be irrational anger and takes their partner by surprise who doesn't understand what they did wrong. Others tend to withdraw when they feel insecure- become quiet, isolate themselves, and their partners will ask them what is wrong, but they aren't usually sure themselves. The best way to handle when you feel insecure is to RECOGNIZE it! Don't hide from it, and start to see what your triggers are. Ask yourself: what i...