Mindful Living

Being vulnerable is a sign of strength, not weakness. It means that you feel secure enough in yourself to expose the painful areas. In therapy when a client starts to share their vulnerabilities, I know we are really getting somewhere! Because once they trust me enough, they will be able to transfer that outside of the therapy office. Look at being vulnerable as a strength that you have; it will deepen your relationships, your connections to others will grow, and loneliness will lessen. It took me a long time to share my "soft underbelly" with my husband, so I do know that what I am advising can be very difficult to do! But as I felt more emotionally safe, and I got stronger inside, I could share more and more. Today my connection with him is very strong and one of the biggest joys of my life. I know this journey can be difficult, but it is so worth it! When you are vulnerable, you are telling yourself that you accept yourself and all the different sides of you that you may b...

It doesn't feel very good does it? Feeling insecure at times is a universal experience, and it is really good that you can acknowledge that insecure is what you are feeling! Because that's more than half the battle- recognizing your true feelings. So often we hide feeling insecure by being angry at our significant other by accusing them of things that may or not be accurate. It is usually much easier to acknowledge being angry than it is to admit (even just to ourselves) that what is before the anger is insecurity. Our anger masks our true feelings. Because when we say we feel insecure, that means we are vulnerable. We don't really feel too vulnerable when we are angry. Being vulnerable to another is difficult. And the benefits are amazing! I have seen people go from chronic insecurity in a relationship, to having those insecure feelings almost vanish overnight by recognizing and talking about them to their partner! Now that is some powerful medicine! Does it always work th...

Heartbreaks hurt, but they also deepen us, if we do not shut down. Many people come to counseling due to heartbreaks, and their pain is palpable. It is not fun to have our hearts broken. And it's also a part of being human that our hearts will get broken, sometimes more than once. So what to do if your heart has been broken? Know that you are in good company- it's a universal experience. Take care of yourself- eat healthy, sleep as much as you need to, reach out for support, exercise and get outdoors. Journal your feelings. Know that the pain will lessen with time. Treat yourself gently- now is not the time to criticise or blame yourself. Then when the pain has eased some, you can look at the relationship- what did you learn from it? How did it change you? In what ways were your needs met, or not met? What patterns of behavior might you want to change? And ask yourself what is next? Do not shut down from others and experiences! It is our natural instinct and it's ...

Being cracked open like an egg, is painful. It seems we get cracked open when great pain or a great challenge comes our way. It sure doesn’t feel good, at least at first, but often it is life’s way of deepening us and opening us up to new experiences that we may have been closed off too. In my own life I had cracks and fissures start to form when I started having children and felt the deepest love, but also the deepest fear, and my walls started to crumble. I could do longer hide behind “having the answers” and thinking I was right about things. I knew I would fail my children in some ways- I couldn’t be the all perfect mother. The world seemed more frightening and dangerous. I was “cracked open” by my love for them, and became a much wiser, understanding person than I was before children. I had a client who got cracked open by a love affair a few years ago. She had shut herself off from love because she did not think she was worthy enough, but then love found her, and her life c...