Mindful Living

Circumstances change, people change, life changes. We have failures. Our children grow up and move away. Relationships end. We have health crisis, spiritual crisis. Jobs end. Friendships grow apart. Loved ones die. And we have successes, new relationships, new better jobs, deeper spirituality, better health, babies- New Beginnings. And the circle goes round and round. We need to honor our endings and our new beginnings. It's not only healing for us but also can help with grieving and anxiety. If we don't properly acknowledge a loss that energy or emotion can get "stuck" and can prevent us from moving on or fully engaging in our new life. Processing a new beginning and what it all means and how life will change is very helpful (for all of us that have had babies- you know what I mean!) Showers, weddings, funerals and all the planning that goes with them can be great ways of recognizing and honoring the changes in our lives, especially if we do them in a very thoughtful...

I have been wound up a little tight lately and not able to relax and "be in the moment". This has been going on for a few months and it's frustrating- I like "flow" and being present. But I have worries and anxieties that are preventing this right now. This morning I was reading a blog, and the author wrote how our worries come from attachments- "suffering comes from attachments" in his exact words. It was an "aha" moment for me. I want things to be a certain way- I want the future to be a certain way, and I am very attached to the outcome I have set in my mind! Which in turn causes much worry that the future may not be what I have imagined. So I will work on knowing the future will unfold as it shall, and try not to be so attached to how I want it to be. I feel relief already.

I have personally experienced some significant endings lately and so many of the clients I see are in my office to discuss the endings in their lives. The parallels between my work and personal life never cease to amaze me! This past year I have left two long term jobs to break out on my own. I miss the people I worked with. Relationships have changed because of my leaving, and although it is natural for things to change, those chapters of my life have closed, and which relationships will survive and transform has yet to be seen. Many people come to see me due to relationship changes or endings. Such a difficult time! But I encourage them to experience the loss- look at what the ending means, how things have changed (for the good and bad), and then after the feelings have been felt, the losses acknowledged, then we can look at the new chapter that is starting and the new hope being born. The process of coming to terms with endings cannot be rushed. That is why for many people deciding ...

I have my fair amount of fears, both rational to the irrational. Some of my more rational fears are: afraid something bad will happen to my children, death, heights, and rodents (OK, maybe rodents is irrational!). I am afraid of snapping turtles (never have encountered one), the world running out of oil, ghosts, and I can be a bit of a hypochondriac. Most of us have some fears, and many of us fear similar things, particularly harm to a loved one. And I also find so many of us are afraid to show who they are and to be truly intimate in a relationship. We hide aspects of ourselves for fear of rejection. We put up walls to keep people out. We think this will protect us, but the truth is, it only keeps us lonely. We are scared because we have been hurt before, and we say we will not be hurt again. We won't trust until we know for sure we won't be hurt. But the truth is, we will get hurt again and again and again. Maybe not intentionally, but relationships involve two people who bot...

I got the pleasure to spend time this past weekend (at our cabin) with some of my nephews (and two of my children), who are all mainly teens, and what a fun experience! We sat around the campfire, talking about our first kisses, and everyone participated. I have to say my sister's answer to that question was quite interesting! We also talked extensively about drugs and let's just say, they are exposed to a lot. Way more than I ever was as a teen, and it's so much more available. I am proud of how they are all making their way through those teen years, with challenges I never had to face. But they are making THEIR way through. My sisters and I raised our children together, and that has been a huge blessing. The support we get from each other in the parenting department is invaluable. And I know they love my kids and want what's best for them. There was a lot of testostorone flowing this weekend- wrestling and seeing who was stronger. I wonder if they will ever outgrow...