Mindful Living

By looking at what things get you upset and angry you can identify what your wounds are. For example, in my early years of marriage, I would have a "temper tantrum" if I thought my husband was spending too much time with his family. I had abandonment issues and these feelings would get triggered by this situation. One way to know that an old wound is getting triggered is by the intensity of the response- obviously my response was over the top for the situation, other emotions were being called up or my response would have been in proportion to the situation. When we have a super strong reaction to a seemingly small situation, an old wound is getting triggered. We are all wounded. We all get triggered. It's good to try and know what our wounds are so that our wounds do not dictate our life. When we are unaware of them consciously, we act them out unconsciously (my temper tantrums over my husband spending time with his family). One common theme for wounds, is that ...

I have my fair amount of fears, both rational to the irrational. Some of my more rational fears are: afraid something bad will happen to my children, death, heights, and rodents (OK, maybe rodents is irrational!). I am afraid of snapping turtles (never have encountered one), the world running out of oil, ghosts, and I can be a bit of a hypochondriac. Most of us have some fears, and many of us fear similar things, particularly harm to a loved one. And I also find so many of us are afraid to show who they are and to be truly intimate in a relationship. We hide aspects of ourselves for fear of rejection. We put up walls to keep people out. We think this will protect us, but the truth is, it only keeps us lonely. We are scared because we have been hurt before, and we say we will not be hurt again. We won't trust until we know for sure we won't be hurt. But the truth is, we will get hurt again and again and again. Maybe not intentionally, but relationships involve two people who bot...

Do you have Anger Issues? 1. Has anyone close to you told you that you need help with your anger? 2. Have you thrown, punched or “wrecked” objects when you were angry? 3. Do you have a difficult time expressing your anger except when yelling? 4. Do “little things” trigger a strong emotional reaction from you? 5. Do you tend to “bottle things up” and not express when you are angry? Many of us express anger in 2 ways- by avoiding conflict and bottling things up or in “exploding” by yelling or throwing objects. Both ways of dealing with anger hurts us and our relationships. If you answered yes to one or more questions, you may benefit from counseling to help you learn why you get anger and how to express it in a way that cares for yourself and your relationships.