Mindful Living

Relationship Check Up How is your relationship doing? Answer the following questions to see where you are at! 1. Generally, do you feel loved and supported by your partner? 2. Is your intimacy satisfying for both of you in frequency and quality? 3. Are there trust issues or resentments in your relationship that have not been resolved? 4. When you fight can you usually resolve the issue and feel understood by each other? Eventually? 5. Do you enjoy spending time together? 6. What emotional needs are not being met by your partner? Which ones are? 7. What is going well in your relationship? Celebrate those things! If you think that your relationship needs some outside help, a couple’s therapist could be beneficial. Devona Marshall sees couples for many issues, including intimacy concerns, disconnect, and trust issues. She can be reached at 262.334.4340

"I built a wall and I don't know how to take it down". So many of us protect ourselves by putting walls up from our loved ones, and then we feel disconnected, unloved, no spark, and lonely. I understand walls well because I have built my fair share of them. And I know the walls keep us separated from others, and it can be so hard to trust so that our walls can come down. But in order to be close, the wall has to be penetrated. First off you must trust in yourself enough to know you can handle the wall coming down (at least part way). You must trust that you will be able to care for yourself without the wall. And know that most people do not intentionally hurt us. We are all wounded, and we trigger each other's wounds when we are in a close relationship. Acknowledge your wounding and talk about it, maybe not with your partner, but with someone else who can listen and validate the feelings. Journal it, sing it, draw it-anything that allows you to express the hur...

Gambling can be a fun recreational activity. How do you know when your gambling has reached the point of abuse or addiction? I have seen many people in my therapy practice whose gambling has become a problem for themselves or their families, and there are many more people out there who do not reach out for help. Gambling problems can cause huge financial concerns, divorce, job loss and criminal activity. Gamblers may feel ashamed of their actions or feel like there is nothing wrong with their gambling habit. It's important to recognize the signs of potential concern in yourself and others. For most people, gambling is not a problem, but for a few gamblers, it leads to more and more gambling and problems in relationships. Here are some signs that gambling may be a problem for you or a loved one: 1. Do you need to gamble more and more? 2. Do you "chase your losses"? Meaning if you lose, you go gamble to try and get the money back that you lost? 3. Does your gambling cause f...