Mindful Living

It doesn't feel very good does it? Feeling insecure at times is a universal experience, and it is really good that you can acknowledge that insecure is what you are feeling! Because that's more than half the battle- recognizing your true feelings. So often we hide feeling insecure by being angry at our significant other by accusing them of things that may or not be accurate. It is usually much easier to acknowledge being angry than it is to admit (even just to ourselves) that what is before the anger is insecurity. Our anger masks our true feelings. Because when we say we feel insecure, that means we are vulnerable. We don't really feel too vulnerable when we are angry. Being vulnerable to another is difficult. And the benefits are amazing! I have seen people go from chronic insecurity in a relationship, to having those insecure feelings almost vanish overnight by recognizing and talking about them to their partner! Now that is some powerful medicine! Does it always work th...

I am very fortunate to have my best friends also be my sisters. They know me so well- the good, bad and the uglies. They encourage me and also let me know when I screw up (some of the time!). We fight, we feel left out, we distance ourselves, and we make up. They know me well- probably better than my husband. I can ask them if I am being truthful with myself, and they will usually tell it straight. We have been jealous of each other- looks, relationships, jobs, smarts, body size. But fortunately, the jealousy hasn't interfered with the relationships- at least not since high school when we fought over guys. As we age, we have helped each other through: cancer (3 sisters and a niece), divorce, death, illness, crazy bosses, marriage, numerous job and financial changes, depression, anxiety and joy. Who knows what the next 40 years will bring?! Three of us live within blocks of each other, but we aren't hovering around the other's home and family life. There's space and ther...

I use sarcasm and think it can be quite funny at times, especially when I poke fun at myself. I have seen sarcasm hurt though, both myself and others, and I have certainly hurt others by using sarcasm. In relationships, if we rely on sarcasm a lot, it can hurt our loved ones. Sarcasm can be funny, but you need to be careful with it. If you use sarcasm exclusively to express your feelings, it's probably not so healthy. Sometimes people use sarcasm to express how they feel because they aren't comfortable expressing how they feel directly, and practicing saying how you feel without sarcasm will be difficult at first, but better for you in the long run.