Mindful Living

When Conversations Become Heated 1. Slow things down! Breathe! Breathing becomes shallow when we are upset-taking longer, deeper breaths calms the body and mind. Take 10 seconds to breathe. 2. If needed, take a Time Out, to compose yourself. An hour is usually more than enough-often 5-10 minutes will work too. 3. State your position, but listen to the other person’s side too! Look for some point of agreement in both sides- this is difficult, but with practice becomes easier. This tip is extremely important to stop gridlocks. The more each of you feel heard and understood the less likely gridlocks will occur. 4. Look for solutions/compromises. If there aren’t any (which will happen) agree to disagree, but be respectful of the other’s point of view. There isn’t a right or wrong, just different viewpoints. 5. Remember you are on the same Team. What’s healthy for the TEAM? If one person always wins, that is very bad for the team. Try and think in terms of win win for both peopl...

Treat your rage as a powerful guide, and it will surely bring gifts of insight and self-awareness! Recognizing and honoring our rage is an important part of our journey to wholeness. Although abiding with our rage and deep hurt is never easy, the rewards are great. By not working through our rage, it can wreak havoc in our lives. In my own live, particularly my early years of marriage, rage and anger needed to be brought to the surface and exposed to the light. My anger seemed to be triggered by very small things- usually because I felt rejected or abandoned. However, while I was experience these intense emotions, I did not recognize my true feelings. It took several years of acknowledging and expressing my feelings of hurt and rejection to achieve balance on this issue in my marriage. Not always, but often, what is behind our rage is hurt and sadness. By recognizing our hurt, first to ourselves and then others, our rage often becomes assuaged. When we don’t shine a light on our rage, ...

Doing a body scan can be a very helpful way to identify what part of your body is holding some emotions. I have found it helpful to me and others in recognizing and releasing emotions that we aren't very aware of. To do a body scan, start by taking 3 deep breaths, feeling your stomach rise, and when you exhale, blow out as much air as you can. Then starting with your head, you just give your attention to each body part and try and identify the feeling there: heavy, soft, pain, light, whatever it is it is as it should be. Work your way all the down to your feet. When you are finished, take 3 more deep breaths in, and make note of how your body felt. Doing this regularly will help you get into touch with the emotions your body is carrying around. Until next time: Be gentle with yourself and others.