Mindful Living

  This week I had to say goodbye to two long term clients, and although I felt sad to end with them, I also feel happy for their new beginnings, and so grateful for the time I got to spend with them.  I am so fortunate to be able to do the work I do, to get close to others in ways we often do not in day to day life.  One client was with me 4 years and the other 13 plus. Both are moving on to new phases of their lives, new adventures! And I love new adventures! My newest adventure will be becoming a grandmother in a few months.  As my daughter grows my granddaughter inside her, I am growing in the idea of stepping into a grandmother role.  Life keeps moving along, and us with it.  Saying goodbye to clients causes me to reflect on how important they have been to me, how I have grown as a therapist over the years, and my heart is full with love and gratitude.  Fall, a time for letting go.  They will remain in my heart!  And I will remain blessed...

On March 1st, it will be Kettle Moraine Counseling’s 10 year anniversary, and I can’t hardly believe it. It began as a small practice of me and 2 other part time therapists, and has grown to 30 staff members and 3 locations, with a 4th location currently being explored. It started with the intention of me practicing mainly by myself in order to have autonomy over how things were run.  I have always had strong opinions about how people should be treated, and I was coming from a dysfunctional work environment that was taking it’s toll on my psyche. My goals at the time were to treat people fairly, see the good in others and situations, provide a healing place for clients and a place to grow.  I wanted control over my time and schedule also. Over the past 10 years, we have served 1000’s of people in our community, and have partnerships with local non profits and schools that are also working hard to help heal, comfort and provide resources for growth and recovery. We...

I am sitting here watching the sun fade away on the shortest day of the year.  It’s a brilliant red, and the sky was clear most of the day. Little wind, and about 2 feet of snow on the ground made this day feel magical.  The puppy and I took a long walk, and it was so quiet and still out that I had time and space to reflect and be present with the trees and the blue sky. Watching the sun set, I wanted to hit the pause button- how foolish and how modern!  I must be watching too much TV lately. Although we can take pauses in our lives, and I need these frequently, we cannot pause life itself, it keeps flowing and moving.  The wisdom of the sun and the moon teaches us about seasons and cycles; it's comforting to know the light is now getting longer each day. The darkness has it’s own wisdom and dare I say comfort in it also.  When it’s dark, it’s time for rest, to slow down, and reflect on where we are, what’s working in our lives and what needs to...

    Good morning!  I recently went back to personality profiles, primarily the Myers Briggs, and revisited some of the things it reveals about me.  Here at Kettle Moraine Counseling, I do like to know the profiles of our staff because it helps me to know how to relate to them, and also what some of the challenges may be.   I do not think personality tests say everything about us; we are complicated humans!  But they do reveal some truths/patterns that can be helpful to us in understanding and caring for ourselves and others.   Now if you are in the middle of the profiles, thats good!  It means that there is more flexibility to your personality, but it also means that just one of the profiles probably will not fit you very well. So I am solidly an INFP.   What this means is that I am introverted, intuitive, feeling and perceiving.   Introverted:  my energy comes from spending time alone or with one or 2 other people, big gro...

Hello!  Time to give some updates from Kettle Moraine Counseling.  We have been busy and time flies, although I really want to hang on to summer!  The above picture is from Greece a few weeks ago; my family took a trip there, and it was wonderful all around. Beautiful people, land and my son proposed to his girlfriend there!  It was an exciting trip! New therapists:    Desire Ware  LPC IT Desiree is a caring and genuine person who has had the experience of working with children, adolescents and adults for many years. She has been a certified teacher in Wisconsin for 35 years and has taught many developmental skills. Desiree has worked in many areas with people from all walks of life helping them with educational plans, violence in the home, abandonment, anger management, homeless issues, attitude issues, life skills, and many other issues that affect their lives and well-being. Because of the many years of working with people, she re...

I was laying in bed at our cabin “up north”, and I thought I saw a shooting star outside the window.  So I got up to investigate and the woods was filled with fireflies.  I haven’t seen any around our home yet , so this was a treat.  It tells me that summer has arrived, and Wisconsin summers are some of the best.  The long days, cool nights, the green everywhere; it’s short but oh so special. Fireflies remind me of the light within us and in everything around us.  Both metaphorically and literally; for we are all literally made of sunlight (all our food is made of sunlight!) , and we all have the light of goodness inside of us.  Part of my job as a therapist, is to help clients to see their innate goodness and to share that goodness with others. Under the shame, anger, sadness, confusion, and pain is a basic goodness, and being in touch with it is a gift to ourselves and the world. Where have you been kind? Shown compassion, restrain...

When I was a younger woman I had many emotional wounds.  I was the child of an alcoholic father and I carry those scars to this day, although they have lessened. My parents did the best they could with the tools and development they had.  So this is not a blame the parents blog.  I appreciate my mother in particular for working with what she had to work with!  She made traditions and structure for all of her 10 children.   We had Catholic School (grades 1-8), church, regular meal times, and a large extended family that we saw weekly, a regular cleaning schedule, bath times and my mother baked every Saturday.  There were routines I could rely on that helped to sustain me. My father worked a factory job for many years 20 plus ; way beyond what I would have the fortitude for.  His alcoholism prevented him from a bigger future after he got out of the military, and I know it was a huge loss in his life.  But he was a very difficult man to live wi...

I saw the Avengers movie this past weekend with some of my family.  I enjoyed it but not as much as the prequel.   I probably liked the first movie due to the tension and not knowing what will happen; it certainly looked like complete destruction.  But Dr. Strange did give us a hint on what would happen . And Thor!  Who amongst us haven’t gotten complacent and a little lazy?   But if we are to be the superhero’s of our lives we must rise to the call. Complacency will not work for long.  We need to be whom we were meant to be. Themes in the movie and life:  life is full of challenges!  None of us get by without challenges and problems,  a universal experience.  There is always destruction (death) (change) right around the corner, best to befriend it.   The meaning of life is relationships (evidenced by pretty much all the characters); if our relationships are solid, we are solid and can confront the challenges in lif...

 Good morning on this chilly fall day.  Most of the leaves are off the trees and it's dark early now.  Time to go within!  With the extra time this morning I wrote down my dreams; a fjord figured prominently, as did a deceased aunt, journaled what I am grateful for, and wrote about some difficult emotions. I am reading Traveling with Pomegranates  by Sue Monk Kidd and her daughter, Ann Kidd Taylor.  I highly recommend the book and am trying to get my daughter to read it.   It's a memoir of sorts of Sue and her daughter traveling and exploring the feminine and also some of the stages of female development.  Her daughter just graduated college and is trying to figure herself and her career out with all the angst that comes with that.  And Sue is facing midlife, aging and menopause.  The Sacred and Goddesses are weaved into the book quite well.  As a family we are traveling to Greece next year, and I hope to v...

So many of us have anxiety issues, including myself.  Fear of the future, needing to be in control, that underlying sensation that "something is wrong" or "something bad is going to happen" plagues a lot of us.   In some ways anxiety can be more debilitating than depression. Some things that have helped me and others over the years to manage our anxiety better and not let it have control over us are as follows:  Take what resonates with you and discard what does not! If your worry is something that you can take action about, then Take it!  If I am worried about finances, there are things that I can do to ease my mind; I could consult a financial advisor, put myself on a budget, etc.  Taking action on things that we can is very helpful to easing our worries.  But if it is something we do not have control over, we need to practice letting go.  I don't have control what the weather will be on my vacation, or if the economy slows d...

Greetings!  We are in the middle of summer and I am enjoying the outdoors.  Biking, swimming and gardening.  Getting back into gardening this year has been so good for my soul. The flies have been biting, the days long, and the fireflies have been magical- summer in Wisconsin is the best!  Yes, I could do without the flies and mosquitoes, but they serve their purpose in the circle of life also.  I hope that you are making the most of summer also; watch the clouds pass by, notice the flowers, listen to the cicadas vibrate, and sit around a campfire. Here at Kettle Moraine Counseling we have had a good year so far.  Our Oak Creek office is up and running and doing great; so happy to be part of that community.  Natalie Eddy and Chandell Hintzke led the charge on getting that going and they have done a fabulous job; we will be looking to expand there in the next year or so.  We have recently hired 3 new therapists: Linda Martenet, Diane Schau...

What a year it has been at Kettle Moraine Counseling!  It's been a good year for us, and we had some challenges along the way, but we continue to grow and try and meet the needs of our communities. The biggest news is that we opened a 3rd location in Oak Creek, an area that is really under served for counseling/mental health services.  We have only been open a short time but it is already getting quite busy. We added new therapists in 2017: Caitlin Yogerst, LaQuita Jones, and Michael Shreiner.   Rebekah Wolff and Lisa Oliver were with us in 2016, but have greatly expanded their case loads in 2017.  Michelle Bingen decided to go out on her own in 2017 and we continue to wish her the best. I was elected to the board of directors for the Youth and Family Project in September and I look forward to helping them to grow and help those who need services.  It's a good organization, one I used to volunteer at years ago and am happy to get reacquainted wi...

Being human is difficult.  We all have our challenges and difficulties, even those who look like they have perfect lives.  We all want to feel loved an accepted for who we are, and that is is in short supply for many of us.  So often we think that others have it easier or better than us, when the truth is that we all part of the human experience which includes praise and blame, recognition and disregard, gain and loss, pleasure and pain.   How others see us, usually has little to do with whom we actually are, and more to do with their experiences and wounds.  For example, a few years ago, I had a coworker that I idolized, I thought he knew everything and was so smart.  I defended him to others even when he was not very kind to them.    Then a few years later, I thought the same person was terrible; and I  thought he was not good at his job and was mean to others.  I discounted what he said, and rejected most of his knowledge, even ...

Ian has experience in treating adults and teens with depression, anxiety, self-esteem, personality, LGBT, and dual-diagnosis matters.  As well, he has experience utilizing play therapy techniques with children. Ian has 5 years of clinical experience while working in telephonic, hospital, vocational rehabilitation, and private practice settings. He received his Bachelor’s Degree in interpersonal and organizational communication form Western Illinois University and his Master’s Degree in Mental Health Counseling from Concordia University. Ian’s approach clinical approach is strength, cognitive, and resiliency based. Ian’s areas of interest are: Dual Diagnosis (Addiction and Mental Health) Depression Anxiety LGBT Vocational and work matters Ian@kettlemorainecounseling

Many of us were not raised in an environment where we got securely attached to our caregivers, and felt loved and supported.  When we become securely attached to our caregivers, we know that our needs will be met and we can count on our caregiver to be there for us.  If we were not raised in such an environment, our brains become wired in looking for whether we are loved and cared for or not; and if we find evidence to the contrary (often read into situations) we become very anxious and often "act out" our anxiety over the potential loss of love (often imagined).  For example, adults with insecure attachment styles will look for perceived threats, and often will overreact to them.  Your boyfriend doesn't call or text you as much, you perceive this as rejection, and you get angry and lash out.  Because anger is a much easier emotion for most of us to feel and also express, it tends to be the emotion that we rely on the most, although behind that emotion is hu...