Our wounds are gifts

How can our wounds be gifts? They sure don't feel like gifts when we are in the midst of the great pain, but with time, and looking deeply, we can find the jewel in the wound.

I grew up in a home with an alcoholic father. He was addicted at a young age and it was a lifelong, intense addiction that ended up hastening his death at the age of 69. It was a difficult childhood, yet also a good one in many ways. I had nature and a close knit family that provided stability and a feeling of belonging.

Today I see the gifts in being my father's daughter- in a way I could not see when I was younger. He died when I was at the young age of 23, so I have had 20 years of being without a father, and I see things differently now. The gifts of my father's addiction that I carry with me are as a therapist, I have great compassion with others who face addiction- I know that they have not "chosen" to be addicted- it is a very sad way to live, and people who are addicts are stuck in their own personal hell. My wound created the gift of not judging others- I know what is was liked to be judged for who your family is, and I do not do that to others- we all do our best with the cards we are dealt. I have the gift of having had to find the "sturdiness" inside myself that I am OK- this did not come easily, but once you have it, it is there for life. And the best thing about knowing that you are OK, is that the "other" is OK too. When we accept ourselves, we also accept others for whom they are- it's a gift for the world.

Another gift from my father is that I will not waste my life and feel that life has "done me wrong". I have a lot (but certainly not all) of control over how my life will go, and I choose to love deeply, have much fun, and know it's an adventure that will be over all too soon; I choose to not have any regrets.

Your wounds too, probably have a gift in them somewhere. If you can't find any gifts, it's too soon, and you need to be gentle with yourself and to not push yourself too fast. One person described the gift in the wound of early parental abandonment- he KNOWS how to care for himself in every way (physically, emotionally and spiritually), and that no matter what happens, he is a survivor and will get by; that is a powerful jewel in a large wound.

We are who we are today because of our successes and our failures, our wounds and also the love and acceptance we received. The funny thing in life, is that often it is the challenges that cause us to stretch the most and also to develop ourselves.

What are some gifts in your wounds?