Change your focus, change your life

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, there is a lot to be said about being thankful and expressing gratitude.
When we are conscious of what we are thankful for, we are focusing on what is good in our lives (and there is always good).  The more we focus on the good in our lives, the more positive we feel.  Conversely the more we focus on the negative in our lives (and there is always negative things), the more negative we feel.

Is it always easy?  Nope.  But we are retraining our mind when we consciously set out to focus on the positives.  And retraining our minds is not easy, but it can be done.  The more we focus on the positive, the more those brain connections grow and the easier it becomes.  After many years of practice, I can say that it is (almost!) normal for me to see the silver lining in most situations.  But I didn't start out that way. Many years ago, I had a negative view of myself and the world; and now I tend to see the world as good, and myself as having good intentions,  and overall I feel much more positive, or more at peace than I used to feel.

An exercise I often give my clients is to compliment or to say something positive to those in their family every day.  It is a powerful exercise (if you do it!) because it causes your brain to "look for" positive things that are happening.  The irritable teen may be really good at video games or is trying to figure out who they are, or the husband whom you feel doesn't share the chores does a good job of playing with the kids everyday.

By looking for the positive, the positive increases in your life.  Reframing our situations to see the silver lining is very therapeutic and healing in our lives.

On a good day, we can be thankful for our comfortable bed and pillows.  That the sun is shining; the wonderful smell of coffee in the morning.  That our parents or parent are still alive.  Maybe even our grandparents are alive.  Our children are healthy; maybe we are healthy.  We have freedoms in this country many other do not. We probably have enough water and food to sustain us.  Many of us have jobs that support us and our families.  There are trees that provide our warmth, food, shade and homes for animals.   The longer nights in December give us more downtime and time to watch movies we have wanted to watch or to read books on our reading list.

I think you get the idea.  We can be thankful for the simple things; many of them are not as universal as we think.  Not everyone has a bed, food, water, health, family, warmth or freedom.  Most of us have been very blessed.

I challenge you to look at the positives in your life each and every day.  Compliment those around you.  Show your appreciation.  Keep a gratitude journal (list 5 things everyday you are thankful for each day). Be thankful.

It will change you.