November 2012 Newsletter

Clinic News:  Counselors and Social Workers have to attend ethics training every 2 years to keep their licenses active, so last week I attended ethics training focused around the Internet and how it has changed the counseling field- in many ways for the good, but there are some privacy concerns with the Internet.    After the training, I know I will be more careful on what personal information I put out there on the Internet, because it's really hard to retract information.   For those of us with children at home, some tips the trainer gave us was to 1. Monitor Internet use (but also know that the kids are smarter than us electronically and will come up with ways around our monitoring) 2. Educate kids on the dangers of the Internet and putting your information out there.  3.  Also explain cyber bullying and what it is, how to avoid it and how not to participate in it. 

And a note for us adults: some employers are looking us up via Facebook and other Social Media sites, so be cautious about what you post! 

In this newsletter, Deb Graf LPC, shares some information on grief with us.  Thank you Deb!  A book I am reading that I recommend to clients/professionals is Spontaneous Happiness by Andrew Weil.  He give us some great ideas on staying balanced, centered and peaceful.  I have implemented some of the things he reccomends and am feeling better for it!  One tip from his book, which is very poignant for this month is a giving gratitude on a daily basis; there is so much to be thankful for, and by recognizing the good we do have, we feel better about our life.  So today I am thankful for the extra hour of sleep I got this morning, a fun weekend at the cabin with my sisters, and that I really love the work that I do and the connections I make with people.    Have a good Thanksgiving!                           Devona L Marshall MS LPC 

Tips for Healthy Grieving

By Deb Graf, LPC

Is Grief the Same as Mourning?

Grief is the conflict in feelings caused by a change or an end in a familiar pattern of behavior.

It is a normal and natural reaction to the many losses we experience in life. Of itself, grief is not pathological. Mourning, on the other hand, is the outward expression of grief.

Taboo Statements:

1.       Don’t Feel Bad. (Healing comes from feeling the pain.)

2.       Replace the Loss. (First grieve the loss.)

3.       Grieve alone.  (People grieve alone because they are afraid of being judged or criticized.)

4.       Be strong. (Real strength is a natural demonstration of emotions.)

5.       Keep busy. (Face the pain – don’t bury it.)

6.       Time heals all wounds. (Actions, not time, heals.)

Actions Necessary for Complete Recovery:

·         Apologize for any wrong doing

·         Forgiveness: giving up hope of a different or better yesterday, to cease to feel resentment against [an offender]. It is an action, not a feeling.

·         Significant emotional statements: “I love you; I liked your laughter….”

·         Reminisce fond memories.

How to Grieve:

·         Set aside time that is quiet

·         Select modalities to help you process: writing, singing, walking, or talking to supportive people

·         Use music, photo albums, and lyrics to set the mood

·         Value your needs and trust your process

·         Arrange for support

·         Consider what an “unacceptable” emotion is. Why? (No emotion is unacceptable.)

Your life is like a chapter book:

it has some sad chapters.

Some of the best stories have sad chapters,

but the later chapters can be happy and exciting.


www.kettlemorainecounseling.com