When Anxiety Gets out of Control

Because anxiety are I are close friends, I know the anguish that one experiences when it can become the ONLY emotion that you feel.  Anxiety can be more difficult to treat than depression, and like depression once you have it once, you must be ever watchful for signs that it is coming back.

Irrational fears dominate our thoughts, our brain gets activated, and we feel anxious, "keyed up", "can't relax" "always on guard"  "feel impending doom".  And this cycle will continue until we recognize what is happening and work at changing it.

When I see someone who is in the midst of a severe anxiety episode, sometimes they will argue with me that their irrational thoughts (they have a brain tumor) are really rational, or they will know that they are irrational (afraid to drive) but feel helpless in changing it. Many times they are looking for reassurances from others because it is a very frightening place to be all by yourself with your fears, and this is helpful but usually not enough to get over the episode.  It can be exhausting for their support system to constantly reassure that they are not dying or that something awful is not going to happen.  I see a lot of family members who are burned out from trying to calm the anxious one.

The bottom line on being anxious is that we cannot tolerate uncertainty. Especially when some bad things have happened in our lives (loved ones got cancer, tragic accidents, etc) those with anxiety tend to get more keyed up with every incident that shows them that life is uncertain. The thing is though, is that life is uncertain for the bad things and the good things- but we don't focus on the unexpected good things that happen.

Getting comfortable with uncertainty will help if you have an anxiety disorder.  You are resilient even if you think you are not!  I see immense strength and courage in my office everyday, and most times people do not realize just how strong they are! Good things will happen in our lives, and bad things will happen, but most events will be neutral.

I recently saw the film Lincoln and there is a conversation in that movie that he is having with his wife that made quite the impression on me and I keep thinking about.  He is beseeching his wife to "take a more liberal view".  No this is not about politics!  This struck me as profound, although it has been said before, somehow I got it this time.  If I limit my viewpoint to my own pain, my own experiences, my own thoughts, it's a small world, but if I expand my viewpoint and see that others have pain, other have loss, I feel comforted by the universality of our human experience.  Anxiety can keep us from connecting to others because it demands so much attention, but if we take some of that attention and focus on others who may have needs or pain, ours lessens; helping others is a healing balm for our pain.

Some practical day to day suggestions for when you are in the midst of a lot of anxiety:

1. Exercise to release the stress hormones, and to activate endorphin
2. Repeated tell yourself that you are safe, and that you are strong.
3. Connect to others, because sharing the universality of our human experience is so healing.
4. Pray, meditate, do guided imagery ;anything that disrupts the anxious thoughts.  
5. Do something for someone else, more needy than  you.
6. Eat healthy and get enough sleep.
7. Focus on the positive!  Keep a gratitude journal, where every day you write down 5 things that you are thankful for- this is a powerful exercise that if done regularly will change your emotional set point.
8. Life is uncertain, and that is OK!!!
9.  For natural supplements I recommends reading about what Dr. Weil (www.drweil.com) recommends because they can be very helpful, but usually subtle. 

You will feel better again; I know this because life is always changing including our emotions!