Mindful Living

I see many people who's insecurities are harming their relationships, and I have had my fair share of feeling insecure, so I know the visitor "insecurity" well. Insecurity is a visitor because for most people, we don't always feel insecure, but things trigger it, and then we tend to act out in some way, before we return to our baseline again. There tends to be two patterns of acting out our insecurities- anger or withdrawing. With anger I usually see a very strong rageful reaction that is out of proportion to the offense committed. It tends to be irrational anger and takes their partner by surprise who doesn't understand what they did wrong. Others tend to withdraw when they feel insecure- become quiet, isolate themselves, and their partners will ask them what is wrong, but they aren't usually sure themselves. The best way to handle when you feel insecure is to RECOGNIZE it! Don't hide from it, and start to see what your triggers are. Ask yourself: what i...

It's been a few weeks since we put him down and I am missing him more and more. On my walk today I saw a golden retriever outside and the sadness swept over me. I miss walking with him, going to the cabin with him, seeing how excited he always was to see me, and all of his begging for food. He was such an integral part of my life on a day to day basis that there is a large empty space there now. Lessons in grief. We picked up his ashes yesterday and they put them in nice box with his name and year of birth and death on it. It was very nicely done, but something we have been avoiding picking up. We don't know what we are going to do with the ashes, and probably won't make any decisions for a while. With time, I am more sure that we made the right decision, and probably could have done it sooner even, but we weren't ready. I also hope that with time, my pain starts to ease.

Are you and your significant other on the same page sexually? If so, great! You are some of the few! If you aren’t on the same page, here is some expert advice on how to handle those differences. Most of us have different sexual needs and wants- that’s normal and should be expected! In many relationships, sex is an important aspect, so taking care of this area of your relationship will help bring you closer together. 1. Talk, talk, talk. What frequency is good for each of you? How does it compare with your partner? Are there areas of compromise? Ask each other how you feel about your sex life- areas that are great, and areas that could improve. No blaming, just sharing information. 2. Respect each others differences. Do not make yourself “right” and your partner “wrong”. There isn’t a right or wrong with sexual differences, just areas that need to be looked at and compromises reached when able. 3. If your partner asks you to do something you are not comfortable with. Ex...