Mindful Living

I often write about compromise, understanding that ourselves and others have wounds, and being gentle with each other. And I do firmly believe in that-especially in close relationships, but there are times when we must "push back" at a situation, a person, a job, the culture,our internal critic, etc. For many of us this is very easy to do when we feel our children have been violated in some way- watch out then! But we do not often protect ourselves in the same ways we would our children. There are other predators out there though, some internal and some external who will tell you that you are not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, who make fun of your gifts and your desires, tell you that you make bad decisions and shouldn't trust yourself. When this happens, it is time to bare your teeth, growl and demand that they back off! Do not accept these things as truth! Look into your own heart to decide what is true or not. More often than not, others have their own agend...

September 2011 Newsletter Kettle Moraine Counseling- The Back to School Issue Clinic News: We have had a lot of changes this past month! I am happy to announce that Kettle Moraine Counseling has a NEW office location in Cedarburg. We have a new therapist joining us, who has many years of experience in the field- JoEllyn Schultz - she will be working solely out of the Cedarburg office, and has a busy practice seeing adults and couples. The new office information will be added to the website shortly but the address is N62 W248 Washington Ave, Suite 203, in Cedarburg Square. All correspondence will still go to our West Bend location. Tammy Ricke , APSW has joined our team!! She comes with many years of experience in the mental health field and will be seeing adults. Her profile will be up on the website shortly. To set up an appointment with her, just call the clinic, or email tammy@kettlemorainecounseling.com. Welcome Tammy and JoEllyn . In other clinic news, Bill Driscoll ...

How can our wounds be gifts? They sure don't feel like gifts when we are in the midst of the great pain, but with time, and looking deeply, we can find the jewel in the wound. I grew up in a home with an alcoholic father. He was addicted at a young age and it was a lifelong, intense addiction that ended up hastening his death at the age of 69. It was a difficult childhood, yet also a good one in many ways. I had nature and a close knit family that provided stability and a feeling of belonging. Today I see the gifts in being my father's daughter- in a way I could not see when I was younger. He died when I was at the young age of 23, so I have had 20 years of being without a father, and I see things differently now. The gifts of my father's addiction that I carry with me are as a therapist, I have great compassion with others who face addiction- I know that they have not "chosen" to be addicted- it is a very sad way to live, and people who are addicts are ...

By looking at what things get you upset and angry you can identify what your wounds are. For example, in my early years of marriage, I would have a "temper tantrum" if I thought my husband was spending too much time with his family. I had abandonment issues and these feelings would get triggered by this situation. One way to know that an old wound is getting triggered is by the intensity of the response- obviously my response was over the top for the situation, other emotions were being called up or my response would have been in proportion to the situation. When we have a super strong reaction to a seemingly small situation, an old wound is getting triggered. We are all wounded. We all get triggered. It's good to try and know what our wounds are so that our wounds do not dictate our life. When we are unaware of them consciously, we act them out unconsciously (my temper tantrums over my husband spending time with his family). One common theme for wounds, is that ...