Mindful Living

October 2012 Newsletter Kettle Moraine Counseling   Fall leaves are turning earlier this year; the Northwood’s’ leaves were at peak a week ago- sure is beautiful outside right now.   I am going to NYC to see my oldest in a few weeks and I am very excited to spend some time with him. The concrete sidewalks in NYC really hurt my feet so I am looking for good walking shoes (looking at clogs with good support), but I can never find comfortable shoes for my wide feet : ( .   At the clinic, Tammy Ricke and Lester Menke have moved over to the Cedarburg office where they will be seeing clients.   That makes 4 therapists at Cedarburg: Tammy, Lester, Jennifer Skinner and JoEllyn Schultz.   Deb Graf and Christina Lachner are doing some training for foster families, and I have included that information in this newsletter.   Badgercare has had some recent changes with United Healthcare no longer being a provider and some clinics no longer taking Badgerca...

I am an anxious person so I know the ins and outs of anxiety well. When we are feeling anxious and worried a lot, we are very focused on the thoughts we are having. The thoughts can become all consuming, and it's hard to see past them. What if, what if, what if- our thoughts go round and round, without giving us a break. We become more and more keyed up, more fearful of the impending doom. We become so focused on our thoughts, that other more rational views cannot penetrate. We dismiss those more calm scenarios, because the fear button has been activated and takes over. Our fearful thoughts become more and more the only thing we can see. This is exhausting emotionally and physically. Our flight or fight instinct is activated and nothing else exists. The self centeredness comes because we cannot see beyond our own thoughts- those fear thoughts become our only focus. The good things in our life get dismissed, which is sad because the good things in our lif...

September 2012 Newsletter Kettle Moraine Counseling Back to school time!! Our youngest, Lara, starts her last year of high school tomorrow. It’s my last year sending a child to school, and if feels bittersweet. We will take a picture of her on the porch with our dog like we do every year, and she will be so tired when she gets home; she is going to pay for all the late summer nights. Good luck to all the parents and kids going back to school. This newsletter features some articles on how to make the transition easier on the whole family. I have been expanding my reading repertoire lately; just finished Truman (home spun ethical man), and Glass Castle (a memoir on an unusual family, which made me thankful for regular meals!). Next I am reading Thinking, Fast and Slow , then onto Truck and Coop by a northern Wisconsin writer. With the days getting shorter I will have more time to read, as long as I stay away from TV ; ). Enjoy the cooler weather and be good to yourself! ...

Contrary to what many of us believe, many extramarital affairs do not happen because there is something missing in our marriage/long term relationship. We are led to believe that by the media, and even as therapists we are taught that "people don't seek affairs unless they are unhappy". As a marital therapists, I have found that this is often not the case! Partners report to me that they are happy in their relationship and often cannot identify anything that they would like to have changed. The partner who had the affair often cannot say "why" they did it, and are very confused about their own behavior. This is the first in a series of blogs I will be writing about affairs. So what leads one party into the arms (whether physical or emotional) of another? I have some ideas...... We all like the feeling of being "wanted" of feeling attractive and desired. The truth for most of us is that we will be attracted to others over our lifetime, and ...

I am a little late getting the newsletter out this month, due to vacation in the northwoods all of last week. It was a nice time, but awfully hot! The Cedarburg office has moved down the road to a bigger office. Moving is usually not fun, but it will be good for the staff and clients. JoEllyn Schultz and Jennifer Skinner are currently seeing clients there, and Tammy Ricke and Lester Menke will also be working out of that office. In this issue, Lori Landy sent over some interesting information on teens and alcohol use, plus Christina Lachner writes about summertime! Some of my favorite summer activities are all outdoors; swimming (I so want a pool), biking, looking at stars (and fireflies), tubing and kayaking. My oldest will also be visiting next month : ) Summer always seems to go by so fast, so try and make the most of it! Devona Marshall Wow, it’s already July!!! by Christina Lachner MS TLPC As promised here is a continuation of last month’s eas...

I usually do not write about  political issues, and frankly in some areas I am not informed enough to comment!  But I remember a person..... Whom I saw in jail, and he had cancer in his jaw.  He was in his early 30's.  He had a job with no health insurance.  He was in pain, and the cancer was eating away at his jaw.  He was holding his jaw while we talked. But he did not have health insurance or money to pay for treatment.... Maybe it's a failing of his doctors, his employer, himself or the healthcare system. But I still think about him from time to time. I hope he got the treatment he needed. Before it was too late.

In my practice and in life, I have encountered many people who report they have fallen out of love.  When asked to describe what that means, I am usually told: I no longer feel attracted to him/her There is no passion in our relationship We are not close at all I don't feel cared about I don't feel like I used to feel He/She doesn't KNOW me Most of us want to have the in love feeling all the time, but truth be told, in any long term relationship, that in love feeling will ebb and flow- sometimes strong, sometimes not there.  It's normal and best to not pathologize the relationship when it happens or get yourself worked up into a tizzy over it! But, not feeling in love, could be a sign that you are not paying enough attention to your relationship.  Are you taking time to nourish the relationship?  Spending quality time together?  Being intimate, both emotionally and physically?  Not letting resentments fester (a...