How to handle sexual differences in a relationship
Are you and your significant other on the same page sexually? If so, great! You are some of the few! If you aren’t on the same page, here is some expert advice on how to handle those differences.
Most of us have different sexual needs and wants- that’s normal and should be expected! In many relationships, sex is an important aspect, so taking care of this area of your relationship will help bring you closer together.
1. Talk, talk, talk. What frequency is good for each of you? How does it compare with your partner? Are there areas of compromise? Ask each other how you feel about your sex life- areas that are great, and areas that could improve. No blaming, just sharing information.
2. Respect each others differences. Do not make yourself “right” and your partner “wrong”. There isn’t a right or wrong with sexual differences, just areas that need to be looked at and compromises reached when able.
3. If your partner asks you to do something you are not comfortable with. Explore what your partner is looking for- excitement, variety, etc. Sit with the request to see if you do start to feel comfortable with it. You should never do something that you really don’t want to do. It’s OK to try and expand your horizons and push yourself out of your comfort zone , but if the request really doesn’t feel right, you need to say no. Vice versa if you are the one who wants to bring something “new” into the bedroom.
4. Our bodies change and our sex drive changes as we get older- talk about it, it’s normal. Do not be ashamed that you aren’t at the same place sexually as you were when you were 20. It doesn’t mean your sex life can’t be rich and fulfilling as you age, but it will be different.
5. Be sure to look at the areas of your sex life where you are compatible and celebrate those areas! In every relationship there are areas that are really good and where you are connected. So make sure you focus your attention on some of the good and not just the differences.
6. If you can’t get beyond the sexual differences and it is affecting your relationship outside of the bedroom, seeking out a couples counselor can help you to make this area of your relationship stronger.
Most of us have different sexual needs and wants- that’s normal and should be expected! In many relationships, sex is an important aspect, so taking care of this area of your relationship will help bring you closer together.
1. Talk, talk, talk. What frequency is good for each of you? How does it compare with your partner? Are there areas of compromise? Ask each other how you feel about your sex life- areas that are great, and areas that could improve. No blaming, just sharing information.
2. Respect each others differences. Do not make yourself “right” and your partner “wrong”. There isn’t a right or wrong with sexual differences, just areas that need to be looked at and compromises reached when able.
3. If your partner asks you to do something you are not comfortable with. Explore what your partner is looking for- excitement, variety, etc. Sit with the request to see if you do start to feel comfortable with it. You should never do something that you really don’t want to do. It’s OK to try and expand your horizons and push yourself out of your comfort zone , but if the request really doesn’t feel right, you need to say no. Vice versa if you are the one who wants to bring something “new” into the bedroom.
4. Our bodies change and our sex drive changes as we get older- talk about it, it’s normal. Do not be ashamed that you aren’t at the same place sexually as you were when you were 20. It doesn’t mean your sex life can’t be rich and fulfilling as you age, but it will be different.
5. Be sure to look at the areas of your sex life where you are compatible and celebrate those areas! In every relationship there are areas that are really good and where you are connected. So make sure you focus your attention on some of the good and not just the differences.
6. If you can’t get beyond the sexual differences and it is affecting your relationship outside of the bedroom, seeking out a couples counselor can help you to make this area of your relationship stronger.
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