Grit
I was not born into an educated family, or a wealthy family, or a successful family, yet somehow many of us have been bestowed with grit. Grit from Websters dictionary means "firmness of mind or spirit : unyielding courage in the face of hardship or danger". Although I am not sure that I have ever faced real danger, I certainly have had some hardships, though much less than some.
As a child and teen I loved sports and would play all the time. I didn't really like the competition, but I liked the physicallness and the team work. When I was in high school, I blew out my knee before sophomore year and had to give up playing basketball, which I wasn't that sad about because high school sports felt intimidating to me. I went out for tennis instead and picked up the racket for the first time when I was almost 16. My skill was OK and I played the number 2 singles spot in our small high school, though my form was never proper and I was self-taught (our coach had never played before, and would read tennis books then explain things to us- nice man, but didn't know much about the game).
The only match that sticks out in my head about the 3 years of playing tennis is a regional championship game. It was the final game of the day and I was playing a girl from a large high school, and she thought she had this game in the bag- my serves are slow but in, and my backhand and forehand were sloppy. The girl I played looked like she had been playing since age 5, with private lessons, nice shoes and the best racket. Her mother was on the sides cheering her on and giving her support. I on the other hand, had a good racket, but not top of the line, had a knee brace, old shoes and no one to cheer me on (my parents never went to any sporting events, except for a one time parents night when my intoxicated father showed up).
My opponent had a fierce serve, and strong forehand and backhand- she was by far the better skilled tennis player. I knew this on the court- I knew I was out skilled and that she thought I was beneath her (heck, I probably thought that myself!). But what I could do, was to return the ball- most any of her super fast shots she gave me, including her bullet serves. My mantra was "just get the ball over the net"- my hits were not pretty, in fact most were lobs, but they went over the net, again and again.
I didn't even know all the rules of the game- she hit a ball well over my head that was clearly out, but I jumped up and caught it thinking I was saving myself time from chasing it later, which she informed was illegal and that she got the point. I didn't argue because I knew she knew way more than me about the game, but I was starting to wear her down psychologically, although I didn't know this- I was just trying to hit the ball over the net!
By the third and final game, we were tied and my opponent was starting to lose it- she's throwing her racket and near tears. Her mother starts to yell at her. I had no thoughts that I would win this, I just wanted to get the ball over the net! The final game is tight and we keep tying the score over and over. She breaks down crying, throws her racket and says she is forfeiting the game. I am shocked and can't believe this is happening- I am not the better player by far, but I could get the ball over the net almost every time. Her mother really starts to yell at her then and the girl storms off.
I couldn't believe what happened- and neither could my coach who was thrilled that one of his players could take sectionals. It shouldn't have happened but it did. I still have the medal I won that day.
That was grit I displayed on that day. 26 years later I look back and am proud of that girl from the not so right family with the not so good racket or clothes who showed such perseverance; my frustration tolerance is much lower now! I give up much easier now when faced with challenges, and I wish I had more of that young woman in me today!
As a child and teen I loved sports and would play all the time. I didn't really like the competition, but I liked the physicallness and the team work. When I was in high school, I blew out my knee before sophomore year and had to give up playing basketball, which I wasn't that sad about because high school sports felt intimidating to me. I went out for tennis instead and picked up the racket for the first time when I was almost 16. My skill was OK and I played the number 2 singles spot in our small high school, though my form was never proper and I was self-taught (our coach had never played before, and would read tennis books then explain things to us- nice man, but didn't know much about the game).
The only match that sticks out in my head about the 3 years of playing tennis is a regional championship game. It was the final game of the day and I was playing a girl from a large high school, and she thought she had this game in the bag- my serves are slow but in, and my backhand and forehand were sloppy. The girl I played looked like she had been playing since age 5, with private lessons, nice shoes and the best racket. Her mother was on the sides cheering her on and giving her support. I on the other hand, had a good racket, but not top of the line, had a knee brace, old shoes and no one to cheer me on (my parents never went to any sporting events, except for a one time parents night when my intoxicated father showed up).
My opponent had a fierce serve, and strong forehand and backhand- she was by far the better skilled tennis player. I knew this on the court- I knew I was out skilled and that she thought I was beneath her (heck, I probably thought that myself!). But what I could do, was to return the ball- most any of her super fast shots she gave me, including her bullet serves. My mantra was "just get the ball over the net"- my hits were not pretty, in fact most were lobs, but they went over the net, again and again.
I didn't even know all the rules of the game- she hit a ball well over my head that was clearly out, but I jumped up and caught it thinking I was saving myself time from chasing it later, which she informed was illegal and that she got the point. I didn't argue because I knew she knew way more than me about the game, but I was starting to wear her down psychologically, although I didn't know this- I was just trying to hit the ball over the net!
By the third and final game, we were tied and my opponent was starting to lose it- she's throwing her racket and near tears. Her mother starts to yell at her. I had no thoughts that I would win this, I just wanted to get the ball over the net! The final game is tight and we keep tying the score over and over. She breaks down crying, throws her racket and says she is forfeiting the game. I am shocked and can't believe this is happening- I am not the better player by far, but I could get the ball over the net almost every time. Her mother really starts to yell at her then and the girl storms off.
I couldn't believe what happened- and neither could my coach who was thrilled that one of his players could take sectionals. It shouldn't have happened but it did. I still have the medal I won that day.
That was grit I displayed on that day. 26 years later I look back and am proud of that girl from the not so right family with the not so good racket or clothes who showed such perseverance; my frustration tolerance is much lower now! I give up much easier now when faced with challenges, and I wish I had more of that young woman in me today!
When have you shown grit? Is there someone in your life that has a lot? When you face a challenge, how do you respond? After writing this blog, I watched the movie True Grit (the newest version), and the teenager, her companion and the horse all displayed amazing amounts of grit, and I really enjoyed watching the movie.
Next time you face an obstacle, dig a little deeper and persevere longer than you would like. Clarissa Pinkola Estes, one of my favorite authors has said she got rejected by publishers over 40 times before one finally said "yes" to the book Woman Who Run with the Wolves. The book was on the New York Times best seller list for 100 weeks!
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