And she was hurt
She decided to let him back in; to try and trust again.
And she was afraid- afraid to reveal her true self, afraid to be let down as she was in the past.
But she took the chance; for she wanted to feel true love again.
And it was a tentative love. They were both cautious with each other. Afraid to upset this new found connection, for fear the fighting and distance would come back.
How had we reached this point-Where we were afraid to be close? How did we get so far away from each other, only to find we really wanted to be loved by the person who knew us best and the longest?
She is cautiously optimistic that they will "make it"; there is more touching, more sharing and more laughing. She starts to feel safe.
But he lets her down, just as he has in the past.
Her heart is broken; she "knew" she shouldn't have trusted him or tried. Always disappointed.... She is furious with herself for putting herself out there to get hurt again. Didn't she know better by now?
Her therapists tells her she must try and let him back in again. And this makes her angry! How can she? Can't she see he cannot be trusted with her love?
The therapist says: but you must, we hurt each other, most often unintentionally, and there is deep love between you. He is sorry. He will do better next time. He knows so much more now than he did before. Love involves risk, and we will be hurt; there is no other way. When the relationship is stronger, the hurts will not be as deep; for then we know how much we matter to the other, and can feel the safety net of that love around us always. Because your reconnection is new, the wound is deeper and bleeds much more. But we shall tend to the wound til the bleeding stops and a scar forms; it will be red as it heals, but shall slowly fade. You are brave and you are strong enough to risk getting hurt again. And you are safe...
This is written for myself and all the women I know who take risks everyday learning to love in a new way. They are courageous and much stronger than they know.
And she was afraid- afraid to reveal her true self, afraid to be let down as she was in the past.
But she took the chance; for she wanted to feel true love again.
And it was a tentative love. They were both cautious with each other. Afraid to upset this new found connection, for fear the fighting and distance would come back.
How had we reached this point-Where we were afraid to be close? How did we get so far away from each other, only to find we really wanted to be loved by the person who knew us best and the longest?
She is cautiously optimistic that they will "make it"; there is more touching, more sharing and more laughing. She starts to feel safe.
But he lets her down, just as he has in the past.
Her heart is broken; she "knew" she shouldn't have trusted him or tried. Always disappointed.... She is furious with herself for putting herself out there to get hurt again. Didn't she know better by now?
Her therapists tells her she must try and let him back in again. And this makes her angry! How can she? Can't she see he cannot be trusted with her love?
The therapist says: but you must, we hurt each other, most often unintentionally, and there is deep love between you. He is sorry. He will do better next time. He knows so much more now than he did before. Love involves risk, and we will be hurt; there is no other way. When the relationship is stronger, the hurts will not be as deep; for then we know how much we matter to the other, and can feel the safety net of that love around us always. Because your reconnection is new, the wound is deeper and bleeds much more. But we shall tend to the wound til the bleeding stops and a scar forms; it will be red as it heals, but shall slowly fade. You are brave and you are strong enough to risk getting hurt again. And you are safe...
This is written for myself and all the women I know who take risks everyday learning to love in a new way. They are courageous and much stronger than they know.
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