Endings
I have personally experienced some significant endings lately and so many of the clients I see are in my office to discuss the endings in their lives. The parallels between my work and personal life never cease to amaze me!
This past year I have left two long term jobs to break out on my own. I miss the people I worked with. Relationships have changed because of my leaving, and although it is natural for things to change, those chapters of my life have closed, and which relationships will survive and transform has yet to be seen.
Many people come to see me due to relationship changes or endings. Such a difficult time! But I encourage them to experience the loss- look at what the ending means, how things have changed (for the good and bad), and then after the feelings have been felt, the losses acknowledged, then we can look at the new chapter that is starting and the new hope being born.
The process of coming to terms with endings cannot be rushed. That is why for many people deciding on divorce or separation takes a long time. What does this mean? Am I ready? Do I want this or that? Can the situation change? This evaluation takes time and should- we have to wrap our heads around what has happened and what led us here, and where the journey should go next.
Maybe it’s an ending you are really looking forward too: end of internship, turning 18 years old, or end of an illness. Some endings we want! Even those endings should be honored in some way and I think instinctively we know this and often do it: we go out for drinks with co workers/students at the end of our internship, 18th birthday parties, planting trees to honor someone/something, some ritual honoring our healthier self (after illness), etc. Rituals are great ways to honor endings and new beginnings.
The end does not happen without something else taking its place- there always are new beginnings!
This past year I have left two long term jobs to break out on my own. I miss the people I worked with. Relationships have changed because of my leaving, and although it is natural for things to change, those chapters of my life have closed, and which relationships will survive and transform has yet to be seen.
Many people come to see me due to relationship changes or endings. Such a difficult time! But I encourage them to experience the loss- look at what the ending means, how things have changed (for the good and bad), and then after the feelings have been felt, the losses acknowledged, then we can look at the new chapter that is starting and the new hope being born.
The process of coming to terms with endings cannot be rushed. That is why for many people deciding on divorce or separation takes a long time. What does this mean? Am I ready? Do I want this or that? Can the situation change? This evaluation takes time and should- we have to wrap our heads around what has happened and what led us here, and where the journey should go next.
Maybe it’s an ending you are really looking forward too: end of internship, turning 18 years old, or end of an illness. Some endings we want! Even those endings should be honored in some way and I think instinctively we know this and often do it: we go out for drinks with co workers/students at the end of our internship, 18th birthday parties, planting trees to honor someone/something, some ritual honoring our healthier self (after illness), etc. Rituals are great ways to honor endings and new beginnings.
The end does not happen without something else taking its place- there always are new beginnings!
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