Fears
I have my fair amount of fears, both rational to the irrational. Some of my more rational fears are: afraid something bad will happen to my children, death, heights, and rodents (OK, maybe rodents is irrational!). I am afraid of snapping turtles (never have encountered one), the world running out of oil, ghosts, and I can be a bit of a hypochondriac.
Most of us have some fears, and many of us fear similar things, particularly harm to a loved one. And I also find so many of us are afraid to show who they are and to be truly intimate in a relationship. We hide aspects of ourselves for fear of rejection. We put up walls to keep people out. We think this will protect us, but the truth is, it only keeps us lonely.
We are scared because we have been hurt before, and we say we will not be hurt again. We won't trust until we know for sure we won't be hurt. But the truth is, we will get hurt again and again and again. Maybe not intentionally, but relationships involve two people who both have wounds that get triggered, and then things usually get interesting! We will respond in anger, when what is behind the anger is usually hurt, and our wall comes up bit by bit.
Recognize your wounds. Know your partner is wounded also. Make an intention to not put up a wall, but to continue to relate and open yourself up even when (or especially when!) we feel vulnerable. Intimacy does not usually come easily but requires some effort.
Take the chance today~
Most of us have some fears, and many of us fear similar things, particularly harm to a loved one. And I also find so many of us are afraid to show who they are and to be truly intimate in a relationship. We hide aspects of ourselves for fear of rejection. We put up walls to keep people out. We think this will protect us, but the truth is, it only keeps us lonely.
We are scared because we have been hurt before, and we say we will not be hurt again. We won't trust until we know for sure we won't be hurt. But the truth is, we will get hurt again and again and again. Maybe not intentionally, but relationships involve two people who both have wounds that get triggered, and then things usually get interesting! We will respond in anger, when what is behind the anger is usually hurt, and our wall comes up bit by bit.
Recognize your wounds. Know your partner is wounded also. Make an intention to not put up a wall, but to continue to relate and open yourself up even when (or especially when!) we feel vulnerable. Intimacy does not usually come easily but requires some effort.
Take the chance today~
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