Honoring Endings
Circumstances change, people change, life changes.
We have failures. Our children grow up and move away. Relationships end. We have health crisis, spiritual crisis. Jobs end. Friendships grow apart. Loved ones die.
And we have successes, new relationships, new better jobs, deeper spirituality, better health, babies- New Beginnings.
And the circle goes round and round.
We need to honor our endings and our new beginnings. It's not only healing for us but also can help with grieving and anxiety. If we don't properly acknowledge a loss that energy or emotion can get "stuck" and can prevent us from moving on or fully engaging in our new life. Processing a new beginning and what it all means and how life will change is very helpful (for all of us that have had babies- you know what I mean!) Showers, weddings, funerals and all the planning that goes with them can be great ways of recognizing and honoring the changes in our lives, especially if we do them in a very thoughtful, introspective way.
Some other ways to recognize and honor changes that I have participated in or heard of are: seeing the "Vagina Monologues" for a women's 40th birthday; taking a canoe trip by yourself for a few nights; going on a trip(I went to Costa Rica for the first time a few months after my mother's death as a way to decompress and integrate that experience); reaffirming marital vows after the children leave home, taking a sabbatical to reflect; having a sweat lodge in honor of a 40th birthday (or any birthday!); writing about a loss and what it means to you; having an intimate circle of women honor the coming of age for a young woman when she starts menstruating; in a circle saying what gifts our deceased relatives have given us; singing, crying and story telling around a newly dug grave for 3 nights after the loved one is buried; turning the kids bedroom into a craft room after they leave home; buying ornaments for the Christmas tree for the deceased loved ones, including pets and a baby lost through miscarriage; writing a poem/song/eulogy; backpacking through Europe after graduation.
There are many cultural ways that we already do honor endings and new beginnings: Baptisms, engagements, graduations, weddings or commitment ceremonies, honeymoons, quinceanera, showers, parties, funerals, housewarmings etc.
The most important thing is that the ritual has meaning for you and helps your psyche integrate the experience.
Honor your endings and beginnings!
Til next time, be gentle with yourself and others...
We have failures. Our children grow up and move away. Relationships end. We have health crisis, spiritual crisis. Jobs end. Friendships grow apart. Loved ones die.
And we have successes, new relationships, new better jobs, deeper spirituality, better health, babies- New Beginnings.
And the circle goes round and round.
We need to honor our endings and our new beginnings. It's not only healing for us but also can help with grieving and anxiety. If we don't properly acknowledge a loss that energy or emotion can get "stuck" and can prevent us from moving on or fully engaging in our new life. Processing a new beginning and what it all means and how life will change is very helpful (for all of us that have had babies- you know what I mean!) Showers, weddings, funerals and all the planning that goes with them can be great ways of recognizing and honoring the changes in our lives, especially if we do them in a very thoughtful, introspective way.
Some other ways to recognize and honor changes that I have participated in or heard of are: seeing the "Vagina Monologues" for a women's 40th birthday; taking a canoe trip by yourself for a few nights; going on a trip(I went to Costa Rica for the first time a few months after my mother's death as a way to decompress and integrate that experience); reaffirming marital vows after the children leave home, taking a sabbatical to reflect; having a sweat lodge in honor of a 40th birthday (or any birthday!); writing about a loss and what it means to you; having an intimate circle of women honor the coming of age for a young woman when she starts menstruating; in a circle saying what gifts our deceased relatives have given us; singing, crying and story telling around a newly dug grave for 3 nights after the loved one is buried; turning the kids bedroom into a craft room after they leave home; buying ornaments for the Christmas tree for the deceased loved ones, including pets and a baby lost through miscarriage; writing a poem/song/eulogy; backpacking through Europe after graduation.
There are many cultural ways that we already do honor endings and new beginnings: Baptisms, engagements, graduations, weddings or commitment ceremonies, honeymoons, quinceanera, showers, parties, funerals, housewarmings etc.
The most important thing is that the ritual has meaning for you and helps your psyche integrate the experience.
Honor your endings and beginnings!
Til next time, be gentle with yourself and others...
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