Bullies

I witnessed a disturbing encounter last week at a grocery store “up north”. My husband and I were walking out with our groceries and a father with his younger teen children; a boy and a girl were ahead of us. The father was yelling at the son and cuffing him in the head. The father kept getting angrier and angrier, the boy listened and the girl was quietly walking behind them.

In a matter of seconds, the father grabbed the son by his neck and pushed him up against the window. I froze, but my husband did not. He grabbed the father and threw him off his son and gave him some choice words about hitting minors and being a father. The father’s face went from absolute rage to surprise, and I hope, embarrassment. He quickly got out of the store and his kids followed him to the car.

We were both shocked by this experience. My husband thought I was just going to allow it to happen, but in reality I froze. My guess is that if my husband wasn’t there I would’ve tried to intervene verbally. My husband wishes he had done more such as call the police and tell the kids that they don’t have to be treated that way- but everything happened too quickly for any further response.

I am proud of my husband for having such quick reflexes, thinking so fast and getting that father to stop attacking his child. I am surprised that my response in danger is to freeze! I worry about that child and what happened to him when they got home.

I am not a perfect parent, and I have great empathy for how difficult it is to raise children, especially teenagers!

But this looked like a clear case of abuse of power. This father would not ever treat someone his size or age the way he treated his child, because the child is weaker physically and less powerful in every other way. This teen will be the same size or larger than his father some day, and then how do you discipline? Hitting isn’t going to work then!

Earning your children’s respect is important, and bullying them is not the way to do.