Passages: We are no longer a "young family"
I have been thinking about this lately, particularly with our dog, Lucky, so sick and ready to die, that my family is no longer young and I have some mixed feelings about it. Lucky has been with us for most of our 3 children's childhood, and as he fades away it seems like their childhood is fading with him. No more building tunnels in the snow with him, swimming or catching frogs at the river, cuddling up to him in bed when they are scared, or having him watch out the door for them walking home from school. Lucky has helped them weather the trials and tribulations of their childhood, and he has been the best playmate!
Our youngest child is in high school, and our oldest is well out of the home (in NYC!) and I don't think he will ever be moving back in with us. He likes his independence. We still have the high school years with our daughter, drivers ed, prom, etc., but no more ice cream socials, middle school angst (this is a plus!), and having to find sitters. And our other son has one more year of high school, but he acts very much as an adult already- he has matured a lot the past 2 years. It is gratifying to see my children develop into cool adults.
On the one hand, I like the extra freedom- I have more time to myself, and to pursue activities I enjoy. Maybe I will finally start practicing on the guitar my husband bought me. My marriage has improved because we have more time for each other. I am certainly a better parent now than I was at 20, and a better wife, more resilient and calm.
I can feel father time at my heels, and I am middle aged now. If I hadn't had my children so young, I probably wouldn't be feeling this way! I see my daughter navigate her teen years and it doesn't seem that long ago that I was muddling my way through with similar issues. I have aches and pains, and I have faced loss- sometimes head on, sometimes with my head in the sand.
But change is a constant in our lives. My children are starting to have longer term relationships and our family is expanding. I can focus more on having a career now, and enjoying time with my husband. My relationships with my two older children are changing- I am having to "mother" them less. A lot more of my time and energy is being freed up.
I hope I continue to face the next chapters of my life with grace and find the blessings in change. Who knows, maybe there will be another animal in our lives to mark the next leg of the journey?
Our youngest child is in high school, and our oldest is well out of the home (in NYC!) and I don't think he will ever be moving back in with us. He likes his independence. We still have the high school years with our daughter, drivers ed, prom, etc., but no more ice cream socials, middle school angst (this is a plus!), and having to find sitters. And our other son has one more year of high school, but he acts very much as an adult already- he has matured a lot the past 2 years. It is gratifying to see my children develop into cool adults.
On the one hand, I like the extra freedom- I have more time to myself, and to pursue activities I enjoy. Maybe I will finally start practicing on the guitar my husband bought me. My marriage has improved because we have more time for each other. I am certainly a better parent now than I was at 20, and a better wife, more resilient and calm.
I can feel father time at my heels, and I am middle aged now. If I hadn't had my children so young, I probably wouldn't be feeling this way! I see my daughter navigate her teen years and it doesn't seem that long ago that I was muddling my way through with similar issues. I have aches and pains, and I have faced loss- sometimes head on, sometimes with my head in the sand.
But change is a constant in our lives. My children are starting to have longer term relationships and our family is expanding. I can focus more on having a career now, and enjoying time with my husband. My relationships with my two older children are changing- I am having to "mother" them less. A lot more of my time and energy is being freed up.
I hope I continue to face the next chapters of my life with grace and find the blessings in change. Who knows, maybe there will be another animal in our lives to mark the next leg of the journey?
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