Yes I am nosy
My teenage children accuse me of being too nosy when I ask them questions about their lives. My adult child doesn’t consider it nosy anymore, and he says that he likes that I am so interested in his life. Part of my question asking is a way to relieve my anxiety of not knowing what is going on in their lives. I worry about them mainly if they are happy, but also that they are making healthy choices.
The conversations I have with my children I never had with my parents. We talk about sex, drugs, death, politics and dating. What I am surprised with is how many kids use marijuana today- it seems to be everywhere. I don’t remember it being that common when I was in high school. The drinking and sexual activity seems to be about the same from when I was a teen.
Hearing about their lives scares me but also makes me see how much they deal with and are exposed to- the Internet has opened up more information than anything I have seen/heard as an adult and they are having to integrate that information as teens. I remember buying a Playgirl when I turned 18 with my good friend, and Burt Reynolds was the centerfold with a red sheet covering his “privates”. That was big stuff- had to hide that from my parents. My boys (probably my daughter too) have seen some pretty graphic things on the internet- things that would give me bad dreams, and I worry about what they have gotten exposed too, and how their minds process that information. They are great people, so I am guessing they are no worse for wear.
One of the ways I have found that can usually get them to open up is by telling them stories of my past. When my older siblings tell stories, my children love hearing them. It’s a great way to open the lines of communication.
The other way I have found to be closer to my children is not try very hard to not be judgmental about what they tell you even if you are disturbed by what you hear. I try and keep my reaction to myself, because if they see me have a strong emotional reaction, they are less likely to share with me.
I love it that my adult son wants to tell me things about his life- I don’t have to try and force it out of him! Not that there isn’t a lot he keeps from me (and should!), but there is a genuine closeness, and he consults with me about big decisions.
So am I nosy? Yes. Does it work? Most of the time.
Here’s to all the nosy mom’s out there!
The conversations I have with my children I never had with my parents. We talk about sex, drugs, death, politics and dating. What I am surprised with is how many kids use marijuana today- it seems to be everywhere. I don’t remember it being that common when I was in high school. The drinking and sexual activity seems to be about the same from when I was a teen.
Hearing about their lives scares me but also makes me see how much they deal with and are exposed to- the Internet has opened up more information than anything I have seen/heard as an adult and they are having to integrate that information as teens. I remember buying a Playgirl when I turned 18 with my good friend, and Burt Reynolds was the centerfold with a red sheet covering his “privates”. That was big stuff- had to hide that from my parents. My boys (probably my daughter too) have seen some pretty graphic things on the internet- things that would give me bad dreams, and I worry about what they have gotten exposed too, and how their minds process that information. They are great people, so I am guessing they are no worse for wear.
One of the ways I have found that can usually get them to open up is by telling them stories of my past. When my older siblings tell stories, my children love hearing them. It’s a great way to open the lines of communication.
The other way I have found to be closer to my children is not try very hard to not be judgmental about what they tell you even if you are disturbed by what you hear. I try and keep my reaction to myself, because if they see me have a strong emotional reaction, they are less likely to share with me.
I love it that my adult son wants to tell me things about his life- I don’t have to try and force it out of him! Not that there isn’t a lot he keeps from me (and should!), but there is a genuine closeness, and he consults with me about big decisions.
So am I nosy? Yes. Does it work? Most of the time.
Here’s to all the nosy mom’s out there!
Comments